Of Love and Loneliness
by ClairaTheArcticFox
Summary: [Discontinued] The death of his mother leaves Sasuke dangerously depressed and unbearably alone. Itachi has isolated himself from his brother for years and can't bear to let himself anywhere near him. Itachi finally realizes the damage he has inflicted, but is it already too late? Can he repair their relationship, or will he lose him forever? ItaSasu AU
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: violence, some strong language, self harm, attempted suicide, yaoi, incest, and smut in later chapters.**

 **Sasuke's POV**

Heavy drops of rain washed over me, soaking my new suit and turning the freshly turned soil into rivers of mud. I watched them slowly lower the coffin into the ground, unable to breathe. The emptiness washed over me, clawing at my lungs, and tearing at my heart. My mother. My sweet, caring mother. I would never see her loving smile, nor hear her soft voice whispering words of comfort. I was alone in this world, with no one left to care.

My father had eyes only for my brother, Itachi. No matter how hard I tried, nothing I did was ever good enough for him. I could never compare to my perfect brother. As for Itachi, we were once so close, but the brother from my childhood had faded years ago, leaving nothing but a hard shell, withdrawn and aloof. It broke my heart to see him go, once so caring and gentle, and now so cold.

For three years, my mother had kept me together with her kind words and soft smiles, but then she had fallen ill. These last eight months had been hell, forced to watch helplessly as her life drained away. The light in her eyes slowly dimming as she lay in the hospital, until eventually she faded completely. I felt tears welling in my eyes. I didn't want to cry, I had promised her I would stay strong, but the grief was overwhelming. I needed her.

Suddenly the rain around me stopped and I felt a warm arm, wrapping around my shoulder and pulling me close. I looked up in surprise. Itachi. My beautiful older brother stood above me holding an umbrella. He looked down at me, His deep onyx eyes, usually so distant, were soaked in sadness. I curled myself into his arms. How long had it been since I felt him so close? His tightened his arms around me, his hand gently rubbing against my back, just as he did when I was a child. Tears began to flow down my cheeks.

"Otouto," I heard his voice, barely more than a whisper, "I'm here for you."

I felt the tension beginning to drain from my shaking limb as he held me. He stayed like that through the rest of the service. With his arms around me I could breathe, at least a little. The sadness was crushing, but in Itachi I felt a ray of hope. I clung desperately to his shirt, not wanting him to leave me. As the service ended people began to drift off, and Itachi pushed my away gently. "Time to go, Sasuke." For the first time in years I heard tenderness in his voice. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard to bear, not if he was here with me. I turned my head and looked at the headstone before turning to follow my brother.

 _In memory of_

 _Mikoto Uchiha_

 _beloved wife and mother_

 _forever in our hearts_

* * *

Once my dad and I made it home, I dashed straight up to my room. My father ignored me as usual, walking calmly into his study. He offered me no words of comfort, in fact, he hardly looked at me. My mother's death didn't seem to have affected him at all. He had carried on praising Itachi, pretending I didn't exist, and burying himself in his work, just as he always did. It made me so angry to think that he didn't care, but I knew he had never loved my mother, just as he never loved me. At least Itachi had showed some sign of emotion, however small.

I stood in front of the mirror in my room, starting to take off my soaked funeral attire. I ran my hands over the thin lines covering my arms, wincing slightly at the lingering soreness of a few unhealed scars. I looked at my eyes in the mirror, so dark and Sorrowful. I wondered what Itachi had been thinking, hugging me, calling me Otouto. We barely talked to each other, let alone him actually showing kindness. It was probably just out of respect for our mother, but I couldn't help but hope it might be something more, that Itachi did care.

I pulled open a drawer revealing stacks of neatly folded shirts. I pulled out a droopy black shirt with a pale grey skull on the front and slipped it on, making sure the long sleeves covered my arms. It seemed appropriate for today. I quickly grabbed some tight dark jeans and a studded belt. Much better than that stuffy suit, but I needed to look respectful at the funeral, for her sake. I knew she hadn't been fond of my change of style, but my father was the one who really disapproved. I didn't care though, I stopped hoping for his approval a long time ago. Maybe I should get my lip pierced, now that would really piss him off. I smiled slightly at the thought, retracing my thin coating of eyeliner.

I pulled out my iPod, hoping music would help keep my mind off my mother, but it didn't really help. Her face continued to float in my mind, pulling at my heart. I thought of her… I wondered what Itachi was doing. I needed to know if he was just going to go back to ignoring me. Maybe I should talk to him. I almost never saw him, except when my dad made us all sit down for dinner together, but even then he hardly spoke, eating quickly and going back to his room.

His room was down the opposite end of the house, away from mine and my father's. It used to be right next to mine but he moved it, saying since we had so much space it was a shame to waste it. I'd only been over there a few times, and even then, only when I'd been forced to. I had already given up hope of his company before he moved. I decided that now it was worth at least trying to talk to him. I didn't think I could bear to be completely alone.

I felt my heart beating loudly in my chest as I made my way through the long hallways to Itachi's room. I didn't want to get my hopes up too high, but seeing him today, feeling him wrap his arms around me- it reminded me of how nice it was when he cared for me, how safe he made me feel. I stopped in front of his door for a moment, gathering my courage. I reached out and knocked softly, "Aniki?" I called out, I never used that term anymore, but right now I needed my older brother, my Aniki.

After a moment I heard his voice, cold as ever, "What is it Sasuke?" He sounded slightly annoyed. I frowned, pushing the door open. He remained bent over his desk, focused on his work.

"Itachi!" I said, louder.

I took a breath as he turned his chair to face me and his dark eyes met mine. His gaze was piercing, causing a shiver to run down my back. His dark silky hair was out of its usual ponytail and draped across his back gracefully. My heart sped up. He looked... perfect.

"Sasuke, can't you see I'm trying to work?" He glared at me, narrowing his eyes. My heart sank, but still I tried to get through to him.

"Itachi, please..." I said softly, biting my lip, he narrowed his eyes. "Can't we talk? I miss you..." My voice trailed off. Even I knew this was out of character for me, but the pain in my heart was so strong. "Itachi!" I repeated, his glare only deepening.

"Don't you see I don't want you here?" His voice was unchanged, emotionless.

"Itachi!" I nearly yelled, "What is wrong with you? Don't you care about anything?" I was so tired of him treating me this way, what on earth had I done to deserve this?

He stared at me for a moment, looking me up and down, I thought I saw his eyes soften, but then he spoke. "Quite frankly, no I do not, please do not bother me again Sasuke, you're being such a child." His words were harsh and biting. I felt like I was being abandoned all over again. I had made peace with my brother's distance, but now all that hurt was coming rushing back.

At this point I knew I was just being a brat, he clearly wanted me gone. I was mostly expecting this so I was surprised at how deeply his words hurt me. "Why do you hate me?" My voice came out in whimper, but I needed to know, if he could just give me a reason maybe I could understand- even change things. I would do anything for him. "Please, the truth, for once."

He rubbed his temples in frustration before answering. "Sasuke that's ridiculous I have no reason to hate you, now run along." His continued in a bored monotone, but this time his words were laced with spite. I fought back the urge to cry. My brother hated me. There was nothing more I could do. I had no one left. Despair blossomed inside of me, pooling in my chest and weighing me down.

I had heard all I needed to know my brother was never coming back. I turned and ran down the hallway, already feeling hot tears running down my face. As I reached my room, I closed the door securely behind me. I continued on into my bathroom locking the door and sinking to my knees. I had no reason left to live. Not one person who cared about me. I could never abandon my mother, but now... I wondered when they would even notice I was gone. My father had never loved me, Itachi would never love me again. Sure I got attention at school but they didn't care about me, they didn't even know me. I was sure a few fan girls would cry a few shallow tears before moving on to obsess over some other guy. They would be more upset than my own family. The pain in my chest was unbearable. My mother... I had promised her I'd stay strong, but I couldn't. Without Itachi I just couldn't.

Itachi would be relieved, his annoying brat of a brother would be out of his hair for good, I know that's what he wanted... I reached over to retrieve the sharp blade lying under a stack of clean towels. I double checked that the door was locked before crawling into the opposite corner. I thought about leaving a note, but realized I had nothing left to say to anyone.

I rolled up my sleeves. I could hear my heart beating loudly in my ears. I longed for it to finally stop, to leave this world behind. I took a breath, and dug the blade into my skin, sighing in relief as I felt the sharp pain. I dragged the blade up from my wrist to my elbow, perpendicular to the rest of my scars This time I didn't want the bleeding to stop. This time I wanted to watch the life poor out of me, and surrender to the darkness that followed. Blood rushed out almost instantly, spilling down my arm and onto the tile floor. I repeated the action down my other arm, my mind going numb. I watched the blood pooling around me and slowly I started to drift.

For a moment I thought I heard shouting in the distance. My vision started to darken, and again i thought I heard someone shouting my name... Itachi? Probably my imagination. Then the door fell down in front of me. Confused I tried to see what was happening, but everything was going dark. I struggled to stay conscious as I saw my brother's terrified face, but it was too late. The world faded into black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Itachi's POV**

After the funeral, I drove through the rain towards home, deep in thought. As usual, I had driven in a separate car from Sasuke and my father. I was taking the long way to avoid running into them back at the house. Now more than ever, I needed to keep my distance.

Sasuke had taken our mother's death very hard, as was to be expected. After all, he was only sixteen, far too young to be left without a mother, and the two of them had been especially close...

I sighed, frustrated. I wanted to be there for him, I really did. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and chase away his tears, like I used to. Sasuke had been such a cute kid, stubborn and enthusiastic, always following me around. He was the center of my world back then, before matters changed, before I changed. There was a reason I had pushed him away and hidden my emotions deep beneath a mask of indifference. I had promised myself I'd stay away from him four years ago, but seeing him looking so desperate and miserable at the funeral weakened my resolve. I couldn't help but offer him some small form of comfort. My brother meant everything to me, and seeing him so sad crushed my heart. Now though, I needed to repair the wall between us before the crack I had enabled ran any deeper.

I gritted my teeth, trying to focus on the road and not on how delicate and vulnerable he'd looked standing in the rain. I knew Sasuke hated how I was treating him, but I'd been doing it for years now, and surely he was used to it. Staying away from him was my best option, really my only option. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, trying not to let my frustration show. Why is it so damn hard for me to shut him out? Every time I saw his sorrow filled eyes, I wanted nothing more than to go to him, to comfort and care for him like I did when we were children, but if I let myself it would be so much worse, so much harder. It was a risk I couldn't afford to take. I was sure he would quickly go back to avoiding me once I went back to ignoring him.

* * *

Once I was home, I went straight back to my desk. My recent promotion landed me with a painful amount of paperwork, and I barely ever had any down time. As I started to pull out my files, I heard footsteps coming down the hallway. Sasuke? What's he doing over here? Since mom died he'd barely left his room. I heard a quiet knock, "Aniki?" he called out softly. I closed my eyes, trying to compose myself. Aniki. He hadn't called me that in years.

"What is it Sasuke?" I asked with a groan. I did not want to deal with this right now. I heard the door swing open behind me, but kept my eyes focused on my work.

"Itachi!" he said, louder this time. Slowly, I spun my chair around to look at him. My breath caught in my throat. He looked so lost standing in my doorway, his intense ebony eyes full of sorrow.

Pulling myself together, I forced my voice into a bored and lifeless tone. "Sasuke, can't you see I'm trying to work?" I glared at him, and saw his face fall slightly. I hoped now he'd just leave, and I wouldn't have to take this any further, but no such luck.

"Itachi, please..." he said, biting his lip. "Can't we talk? I miss you..." His voice trailed off. This was unlike him, usually he was so moody and rude. For him to lose himself like this… Clearly our mother's death had done more damage than I thought. "Itachi!" he repeated, he sounded slightly exasperated now.

I continued to glare at him. "Don't you see I don't want you here?" My voice was unchanging. I hated to disappoint him, but I couldn't stand having him this close to me.

"Itachi!" He was yelling now, "What is wrong with you? Don't you care about anything?" He ran his fingers through his unruly black hair, tugging on the glossy spikes. I noticed he'd changed out of his funeral attire and was back to his normal state of black and more black. It suited him well, the light makeup accentuating his darkening eyes, and his clothing clinging to his lightly toned figure enticingly.

Ok time to stop staring at my brother. I cleared my mind and forced myself to answer. "Quite frankly, no I do not, please do not bother me again Sasuke, you're being such a child." I needed to get him out of here. I should not a part of his life, didn't he have friends for this sort of thing?

"Why do you hate me?" I winced inwardly, I do care, Sasuke. So much, you have no idea. I looked at his trembling hands. He probably did need comfort, maybe just this once? …No, I couldn't. "Please, the truth, for once." He continued, jarring me from my thoughts. God how could he even think that? Because I made him think that; I had to.

"Sasuke you're being ridiculous I have no reason to hate you, now run along." I tried to keep my voice bored and devoid of life, but I was annoyed, more so at myself than Sasuke but there was an unmistakable edge to my words.

Somehow, Sasuke's face fell even further. I noticed tears beginning to well in the corners of his eyes. Shit, maybe I was taking this too far. He was still so fragile. I opened my mouth to say something, hoping to call back the harshness of my words, but Sasuke turned and disappeared down the hallway. A moment later I heard his door shutting across the house. Damn it. I turned back to my work, maybe I'd try and talk to him later. I may not deserve to be around him, but he didn't deserve to be abandoned. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him even more.

I tried to focus on the papers in front of me, but the guilt was eating away at me, growing stronger as the minutes passed. I was starting to get a bad feeling… Maybe I should go talk to him now. Actually I should definitely go talk to him now. If there was one thing I'd learned from my job (besides how to maim someone with a rusty spoon- I smiled briefly at the memory) it was to trust my instincts. I scooped the papers back into their folder and stood up, stretching.

As I walked to the other side of our unnecessarily large house, the feeling of apprehension grew stronger. Finally I reached his door and knocked, "Sasuke?" I called out gently. There was no response. I turned the handle and slowly pushed the door open, only to find the room empty. Strange, my ears were sharp. I knew I heard him go back to his room, it was concerning to say the least. Where is he?

"Sasuke?" I called again. My eyes swept the room, coming to a stop on the crack of light shining underneath his bathroom door. He still should have heard me come in. Even if he's upset he hates having anyone touch his things. Not a good sign.

I hurried across the room and rapped on the door. "Sasuke I'm sorry, I shouldn't have… Will you come out?" I called anxiously, trying to control the shaking of my voice, there was no point in scaring him. No answer. I turned the knob only to find it locked. If he was in there why wasn't he answering?

"Sasuke?" I waited. "Sasuke! Talk to me!" Still nothing. Fear welled up in my chest. Could something have happened to him? I took a step back and kicked open the door easily. My heart stopped as my eyes took in the terrible sight before me. My beautiful brother, covered in his own blood, was sprawled in the corner deathly still. "Oh God, Sasuke! Shit!" I cried as I ran over to him. I could see his chest moving, but his breathing was shallow and ragged.

Urgently, I yanked open the cabinet and grabbed a roll of bandages. I'd seen injuries this bad before; hell, I'd caused injuries this bad before, and I knew if I waited he would be dead before the paramedics got here. Swiftly, I ran the roll around his arms as tightly as I could. I tried desperately to curtail the torrent of blood spilling down his arms and pooling on the cold white floor. I pulled out my cell phone to call an ambulance, my hands shaking so much I could barely press the numbers. I stared at the blood soaked bandages, praying they would be enough. Please, please let my baby brother be ok. _Please_.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Please review! This is the first time I've posted my writing online so I want to know how I'm doing! I'm the type of person who appreciates constructive critisism, so don't be shy.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sasuke's POV**

I opened my eyes to glaring rays of light shining through an open window. A harsh pounding was resonating in my head, making it hard for me to concentrate. My arms ached and my body was stiff and heavy. I cracked open my eyes, trying to figure out where I was- That wasn't my window, and this certainly wasn't my bed.

Itachi was asleep in a chair next to me. _So what, I'm in a hospital?_ I looked around the pristine room and groaned. _Fantastic_. As I struggled into an upright position, Itachi's eyes flickered open. I looked at him, trying to figure out what I was doing in a hospital, and why _he_ was here with me. Then I noticed the bandages around my arms and it all came back to me. Mom's death, the funeral, Itachi's words...

I should have been dead, I realized finally. I was _supposed_ to be dead. Itachi was watching me intently, waiting for my mind to piece together what had happened.

"Did you find me?" I eventually asked, my voice keeping any sign of emotion hidden.

"Yes." He replied cautiously.

"Oh." For a while we stared at each other, the silence growing heavier by the minute. Itachi's eyes showed a hint of anxiety, while mine were empty. He seemed to be expecting me to continue, so I searched for something to say.

"I don't think the window is supposed to be open." I remembered that from the many times I'd visited my mother in a room not so different from this one. It was too bad really, now that my eyes had adjusted I appreciated the sunshine, and the chilly breeze refreshed the otherwise stuffy hospital air.

He relaxed a little at the change of subject. "You used to ask me to open the window all the time."

"That was when I was six and we still talked to each other." I spoke in an accusing tone, but I was surprised he still remembered that.

He raised an eyebrow, "You want me to close it?" He asked, although he already knew what my answer would be.

"...No." As the heavy atmosphere returned, I was startled to notice how bad he looked. His silky hair was full of tangles, and dark circles hung under his eyes. He was still wearing the same shirt and tie he'd worn to the funeral, although they had long since lost their crisp appearance, the shirt wrinkled and the tie falling undone. I couldn't recall once seeing his appearance anything less than perfect, although even like this, he still somehow managed to retain his ungodly beauty. Still, I wondered how long he'd been here. I wasn't even sure how long I'd been here, so I asked.

"It's been nearly two days Sasuke. You hadn't eaten, you'd barely slept, and of course you managed to lose nearly half your blood." He looked at me disapprovingly, but then his eyes softened "I found you just in time."

I grimaced, "Your _timing_ was horrible."

A pained look crossed his features and he ran his hands through his hair. "Sasuke I'm so sorry, I should never have talked to you like that, I didn't..."

"You were just being honest." I knew he didn't actually give a damn- he'd made that amply clear when we'd last spoken.

"No Sasuke, I thought… I _thought_ you'd be better off if I stayed away from you." Still messing with his hair. Was it a nervous habit?

"That's a terrible excuse." I said, glaring at him. Since when did Itachi get nervous, or bother with false concern for that matter. Two days ago he couldn't care less, and I certainly wasn't planning on making up with him.

He squeezed his eyes closed, "I know, I never should have ignored you-"

"God Itachi! Now that I'm _lying in a freakin hospital_ of course you're going to apologize!"

"Listen to me, Sasuke I'm serious!" His voice was almost pleading. Maybe it wasn't all false, but still-

"You know what? Even if you are, I don't fucking care. No way in Hell am I going to sit here and listen to to your bullshit!" Even if my near death had unearthed some tiny shred of humanity within him, at this point it was far too late. "Apparently it takes me nearly dying for you to even remember that I exist!"

It seemed my yelling had been heard from the hallway, as at that moment a nurse came in, interrupting us. "I'm so glad to see you awake! Sasuke, right?" She said, smiling brightly. Could she not read an atmosphere? Itachi moved to sit near the window while the nurse checked me over. She hummed cheerfully as she took my pulse and checked the monitors. "Well, It looks like you're going to be just fine!" She said finally, smiling again as she stepped back.

"Oh boy, lucky me. Can I go now?" I fixed her with a bitter scowl, hating her attitude.

Her smile faltered, "You'll have to have a psyche evaluation first, and talk to the doctor to be discharged…" her eyes shifted around the room uncomfortably, coming to rest on the window behind Itachi. She started to walk forward, "I'm sorry, but you can't have that open."

Immediately she was met with a scathing death glare from Itachi that stopped her in her tracks. She looked fearfully between my scowling face and Itachi's glare and gave up. She turned and fled out the door, mumbling something disturbing about a toddler eating a pet turtle. As the door swung closed behind her I felt a hint of a smile pulling at my lips.

"Poor girl was scared out of her mind." Itachi said, bemused.

"I'd feel sorry for her, but..." I trailed off.

"Her enthusiasm was irritating." He finished. This time a genuine smile played across my face, but faded quickly as reality settled back in.

"Alright Itachi, you've done your brotherly duty, staying here until I woke up. You can leave now."

"Sasuke, I'm not going anywhere." He said firmly. "I'm sure you'll be able to pass any evaluation they throw at you with flying colors, but I'm not so easily fooled. I have no intention of losing you."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh great, so you're saying I'm stuck with you." I thought for a moment, "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I'm taking time off."

"They let you do that?" As far as I knew, Itachi had never so much as taken a sick day off from his job, whatever it was.

He smirked, "They can't exactly stop me." Probably true, but Itachi had never been the type to break rules. What was going on with him?

Eventually though, he would have to go back. He couldn't skip work indefinitely, although I wouldn't put it past my control freak brother to drag me with him. Fun. After that the conversation ended abruptly. Itachi pulled out a book while I sat in silence, brooding.

* * *

Itachi was right- a few hours after I was evaluated, another irritating nurse came to tell me that I would be discharged first thing in the morning. After she left the room, Itachi closed the book he had been reading and looked up at me. "As much as I've been enjoying the quality time I've spent with this hospital chair, I haven't been home in two days and I'd rather like to sleep in a bed." He stood up and stretched, coming to stand next to me.

"Really? Thank God." I'd finally get some time alone. His constant presence and strange behavior was unnerving.

"However, before I go-" Itachi moved suddenly, grabbing my arm. Before I had time to react, he'd _handcuffed_ me to the metal bed frame.

"Itachi what the fuck!" I snarled, staring at my wrist in horror.

He grinned, "Sorry Sasuke, I'm not having you run off the moment I leave you alone." The sadistic bastard was enjoying this! "Oh, and don't think the staff will help you. It's amazing what a few fifties can do for you." Without another word he turned and walked out of the room. I cursed, metal clanging against metal as I struggled to go after him, but it was useless. The bedframe was solidly built and the handcuffs were real. Why the fuck did Itachi have handcuffs?! Bastard knew me too well; I wouldn't be able to get away with anything as long as he was around.

Itachi's sudden venture into the realm of emotions had left me confused, but that confirmed it. Emotional or not that was definitely my brother, no one else would have the guts to pull something like that. I thought about making a break for it bed and all but figured that would probably get me locked in a padded cell. I flopped back down, resigning myself to the uncomfortable night ahead of me. I stared up at the ceiling, beginning to consider how I was going to get back at him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sasuke's POV**

When morning finally came, I was exhausted and angry. The handcuffs binding me to the bedframe had made sleep difficult, but it was the nurses that had made sleep impossible. Every hour someone would come into my room and wake me up- presumably to make sure I was still alive. I'd thought their cheery attitudes were irritating the day before, but in the middle of the night? They were downright infuriating. After several hours of this, I was royally pissed off, so the next time the door opened, I hurled a pillow into the nurse's face with enough force to knock her back a few steps. Apparently that was enough to convince her I was fine because she left.

I hurled a second pillow into the face of the nurse who came in an hour later. She left as well, and by now the rest of the nurses seemed to have gotten the message. Unfortunately I'd only ever had two pillows, and the handcuffs prevented me from retrieving either them from the floor. It was several hours before anyone else came in, and by the time they were returned to me the sun had already started to rise.

The only benefit of a sleepless night was it had given me time to analyze Itachi's behavior from the day before. He seemed to be under the impression that he could repair our relationship, and if he was taking time off from his job, then he was willing to go pretty far to make that happen. He probably considered me a personal failure, and he was used to being perfect. I doubted he'd ever failed at anything in his life before now. I was unclear on whether he cared more about me or his unprecedented failure, but regardless I had no intention of forgiving him.

I wouldn't be back in school for a few more days, which in the meantime meant a _lot_ of time with Itachi. I'd give him what he wanted- I'd stick close to him, and I'd spend the entire time making him miserable. I supposed hanging around him wouldn't be so bad if I passed the time by trying to piss him off. I was actually looking forward to his arrival. He deserved a punch in the face as soon as he let me go. If handcuffing me to a bed was his way of showing he cared about me he was seriously twisted.

True to his word, Itachi showed up early, holding a stack of black clothing. Apparently he did have some sense because he tossed me the key from the doorway, watching me warily. For a second I considered letting it hit the floor and forcing him to come get it, but that seemed petty and I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. I caught the keys deftly and freed my hand. As I walked over to him, I noticed the clothes Itachi was holding weren't mine. I gave him a weird look.

He seemed extremely uncomfortable, "I figured it was best to play it safe… I wasn't sure if you would be ok with me going into your room to get some clothes, so I just brought you some of my old ones." I had to stop myself from laughing; he had clearly put way too much thought into this.

"Oh you took my privacy into consideration? Looks like you get a gold star." I glared at him, taking the pile of clothes and pushing him out the door as he stood there looking confused. So what he thinks it's ok to use handcuffs to keep someone from running away but not to go into their room without permission? What sort of twisted morals did this guy operate on?

Itachi's clothes were surprisingly comfortable. Their faint scent was strangely nostalgic, reminding me of when we were children and he used to carry me on his back. I still had the cuffs- it seemed that Itachi had completely forgotten about them. I snickered as I slipped them into my pocket. What the hell did he do for a living that meant he would carry around _handcuffs_? I somehow couldn't see him as a cop, plus he wouldn't have any reason to hide that.

I followed Itachi out to his car in silence. glaring into the back of his head and silently willing it to burst into flames.

* * *

 **Itachi's POV**

Sasuke had been staring at me with murderous intent since we got into the car. Home was only fifteen minutes away, but it sure felt like a lot longer with his piercing eyes biting into me.

I was anxious. Really anxious. It was an entirely new feeling to me and I honestly had no idea how to deal with it. It was probably better that I stayed out of work for a few days: in my current condition I could easily make a mistake that would have serious repercussions. I had something big coming up in about a week, and I hoped I'd be able to get myself together before then. I was the best person for the job, so I couldn't afford to lose my edge.

I brought my attention back to Sasuke. When we were kids I knew everything about him, but if the waves of evil intent wafting from the back seat were anything to go by, he had become a completely different person. I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel. In the rear view mirror, Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Seriously that stare was sending shivers up my spine.

it was undoubtedly my responsibility to fix whatever problems Sasuke had developed. I was his _brother,_ I was supposed to be looking out for him. I could have at least been watching him from afar even if I wasn't an active part of his life. I should have noticed long before it got this bad.

I definitely deserved his loathing. What I had done to him in the name of responsibility was unforgivable. He was undoubtedly focusing all his negative emotions on me, but it was a lot better than being shut out entirely. Right now I had no idea what was going on in his head besides the anger and the hatred though, and I certainly hoped that wasn't all he thought about. If I was going to be of any help to him, I was going to need to get to know him a lot better.

As we neared home I struggled to think of how on earth I was supposed to pass the next few days until he would go back to school. I hadn't attempted to socialize since _I_ was in school, and even then friends hadn't really been my thing. My closest friend had been my partener, Shisui. Our skills were unparalleled, and we embraced our work without a second thought, but we were reckless. Eventually the brutal reality of our job had caught up to us, and I was forced to watch him die.

It was at that point that I finally realized what I'd gotten myself into. I realized also that I had to make sure Sasuke, who idolized me, never became involved. I ignored him and pushed him away so that he would be safe, but I never moved out because I couldn't leave him. Now Dad was usually at work or traveling for work, so if I moved out Sasuke would effectively be living on his own. Yeah, not happening.

When we arrived at the house, Sasuke went straight into the kitchen. I supposed that was pretty normal considering his age, although up until recently he hadn't been eating nearly enough. He spent a while opening cabinets. "Itachi? Where the fuck is all our food!" His face twisted in displeasure as he looked up from the fridge.

"I'd imagine I'm the only one who's been shopping in quite some time. Dad left on a business trip while I was with you in the hospital. He won't be back for several weeks." Sasuke tensed as I mentioned our father.

"Did you tell him I was in the hospital?"

"I did. He didn't ask, so I did not tell him why you were there, simply that I would take care of it and he should enjoy his time in Portugal." He relaxed at that, returning to what was probably the most important thing on his mind right now.

"Where's all _my_ food then."

"I assume you've eaten it since the last time you shopped, and the fridge is full Sasuke." He gave me a disgusted look.

"I am not a rabbit, therefore none of this can be considered food."

"There are tomatoes in the bottom right drawer." _Silence_. Sasuke came back with a large tomato in his mouth and another in his hand.

"There were only two. We need to go buy food."

"I can cook something for y-" I started, but the dark look on his face told me the offer was pointless. "Fine let's go." I should just be glad he's eating.

* * *

Shopping consisted largely of Sasuke glaring down anyone who came near us and buying a horrifying quantity of food. And tomatoes. "Sasuke I'm not sure any of this qualifies as edible." I said once, but there wasn't much point. I was going to have to work on his eating habits, but something told me now was not the time.

We didn't even have to wait in line at the cashier- the other customers shied away from the potent waves of hatred rolling off Sasuke. I was surprised at how effectively he was using his teenage angst. When he was a child he nearly always got what he wanted due to his extraordinary cuteness. It didn't seem he'd lost any of his persuasive power now that he was older, just changed his approach. It actually wasn't that different from the intimidation tactics I often applied. No one wanted to mess with the threatening stranger with a dangerous glint in his eye. I was impressed, I hadn't mastered that art until I started working.

When we arrived home for a second time, I felt I was beginning to understand Sasuke a little better, but I still had no idea how to hold his attention or influence his behavior in any way. If he chose to run off or lock himself in his room, I had no idea how I could stop him short of using force. If it came down to it I _could_ use force, but that didn't seem like a very productive method longterm.

I supposed the only thing I _did_ have any control over was his anger, seeing as it was largely directed at me. If I could keep him focused on his hatred for me, then at least he wouldn't have time to be self destructive. I really wanted to _repair_ our relationship, but the best way for me to help him was probably to be here for him to hate. Keeping him safe has been and always will be my first priority, and in order to do that I would gladly sacrifice my own happiness. The more time we spent together, the less time he would have to focus on himself. So it was a matter of keeping him with me, and pissing him off.

When we entered the house, he stopped to face me, "You want me in the living room with you, right? So you can do that creepy starey thing and make sure I don't try to off myself." Actually I was pretty sure _he_ was the one doing a creepy starey thing. I nodded, trying not to look relieved. That took care of the first step. "I'm gonna grab my stuff." he started to turn towards the stairs but I raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh relax, if I'm not back in two minutes you can come kick down the door again." Right, the door to his bathroom was still broken.

"Sasuke do you want me to fix the your door?"

"I'd rather ditch it altogether than have _you_ in my room again." I grimaced, although it was the answer I was expecting.

I remembered that I was supposed to keep his attention on hating me."Well if you're not back here in two minutes, that's exactly what will happen and you already know you can't lock me out."

I still had a fair amount of paperwork to do from leading my latest jobs, so I decided to grab that. Sasuke came back holding a book and headphones a moment later. I was already back and sitting on the sofa- by far the most comfortable seat in the living room. I smirked as he glared.

In a way I was issuing him a challenge. He had two options, suck it up and sit next to me, or admit defeat and take the rocking chair by the window. I was curious which one he would pick- I'm sure he hated me more than he hated losing (which was a lot) but it was a different matter if he was losing to me. He grit his teeth and came over to sit on the couch. It was spacious, so we weren't stuck particularly close together, but he was leaning against the side with a disgusted look on his face.

Even as a child he would never back down from a challenge, going after it enthusiastically. Admittedly this had taken a turn for the far darker but it was the same idea. All it took to get him to listen to me was to turn it into a challenge. That was a great way for me to keep him occupied, really- keep challenging him, and hopefully winning. The bitter competition was painful, but it was also entertaining to get under his skin, especially since I knew it was in his best interest. Despite everything, I was enjoying being around him again.

* * *

I knew Sasuke would realize I couldn't let him sleep alone, the question was what was he going to do about it. He'd been up most of the night before, which combined with his recent ordeal meant he had to be exhausted. Falling asleep on the couch would be backing down from the challenge- something I knew he could not do. Neither of us wanted a stalemate either which is what would happen if we stayed on the couch all night. Beyond that, this wasn't the only night we'd have this problem so we'd have to deal with it at some point. I smirked internally as a thought occurred to me. Yes this would definitely piss him off. I stood up suddenly and looked at him, smiling innocently.

"Alright Sasuke I'm going to my room to sleep." His expression darkened as he fully understood my implications. Choosing another sleeping location was avoiding the challenge. By letting me be the first to speak up, he'd allowed me set the parameters- namely the location. This left him with only one option.

"Fine but I'm taking your bed." His tone was bitter and indignant. I raised an eyebrow.

"Sasuke it's my room, my bed. You may sleep on the floor if you so wish." No he couldn't, at least not if he wanted to win. He was fuming as he stalked up to his room to get changed.

If he took this opportunity to pull something, we'd both lose. This was certainly a risk, but it would tell me whether I was making any progress. He returned a while later in much better spirits. "Oh, Itachi. Just so you know, I'm a very violent sleeper." He grinned, climbing into the bed and flipping over. By the time I'd showered, Sasuke was already asleep- really asleep too, I could tell he wasn't faking it. His sleeping rhythm hadn't changed since he was a child.

I climbed in beside him and tried to fall asleep as well. Ten minutes later I admitted defeat, getting up to grab an extra blanket and settling on the floor. Sasuke hadn't been kidding when he said he was a violent sleeper. I vaguely remembered him tossing and turning a lot as a child, but now that he was nearly full grown he was on a whole different level. Queen size bed or not, no way was I getting any sleep without waking up suddenly to a black eye. I was rather pissed, but I supposed it wasn't too big of a deal. It was actually more fun if victory wasn't always guaranteed.

* * *

 **A/N: Leave a review, tell me what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

Sasuke's POV

I awoke to the irritating sound of Itachi dragging a mattress across the room. I pulled a pillow over my head with a groan. "Go away, It's early," I protested.

"It's not early, it's nearly nine."

I glared at him from underneath the pillow. "That's early. Why do you have a mattress?" He gave me a disgusted look but didn't say anything.

Then I remembered the sleeping arrangement from the night before- he must have given up! "Ha! Sucker, you thought you could make me sleep on the floor? Guess it's a good thing your room has plenty of extra space." I snickered. He did his best to ignore me, but the look on his face gave away his displeasure.

"So how long are you planning on keeping me here?" I teased. If it meant kicking him out of his bed, I was more than happy to stay in his room. He only glared at me, and he picked up a stack of sheets.

Between the shattered water glasses and broken alarm clocks, my sleeping habits had given me plenty of trouble in the past. However, seeing Itachi now made it more than worth it.

As he finished, he turned to face me, looking stern. "Sasuke what did you do with my handcuffs yesterday?" He finally remembered did he?

"Oh I'm sorry, did you expect those back?" I said, hiding a smile. Itachi was not amused. "I dropped them out the window before we left the hospital," I told him. Actually they were sitting in my room, but I had no intention of returning them. Itachi rubbed his temples, clearly exasperated but trying to keep his cool. That's what he gets for chaining me to a bed.

"Also why the hell do you carry around handcuffs?" I seriously didn't understand what he what he would be using them for. I couldn't see him as a police officer, and besides he wouldn't have any reason to hide that.

"So that I have them when I need them," he responded, like it should be obvious.

I rolled my eyes, "And why exactly would you need them?"

Itachi thought a moment. "They're useful."

"Oh of course, I should have known," I said sarcastically. Weirdo.

Itachi ignored me.

"Alright, now that you're awake you've got fifteen minutes to get ready, then meet me in the kitchen for breakfast."

"Don't tell me you're planning on cooking." I looked him incredulously.

"And if I am?"

I grimaced. "No way am I going to eat your crappy food."

Itachi smirked. "Then it's a good thing I have no intention of making crappy food."

"I guess we'll see," I scoffed. Of course that would mean I actually had to try it. I admit I was curious about what exactly Itachi was planning on making that he thought I was going to eat. I'd never seen Itachi cooking before, which didn't inspire confidence in his ability to produce anything edible.

"Fifteen minutes," he said again, dismissing me.

Itachi had given me plenty of time to run off, but I didn't want to pass up such a good opportunity to mess with him. Besides, then I'd just be avoiding eating his food, and that seemed petty.

I also knew that although Itachi was unlikely to give up on me, if I proved to be a hopeless case, he might just say 'fuck it' and move on. That was an outcome I wanted to avoid, but that didn't in any way mean I had to let him succeed in getting close to me. Actually so long as he believed he could succeed, failing would only make him more determined. The more committed he was to helping me, the more I would be able to make him suffer.

When I went downstairs, Itachi was in the middle of cooking

"Sit." he ordered, pointing to a chair. I made myself comfortable, and waited for him to finish. As I watched Itachi cook, I realized with a sinking feeling what he was making. It was a recipe of our mom's. Come to think of it, I did vaguely remember Itachi helping her out- a _long_ time ago. I had still been in elementary school. I was pretty sure he hadn't cooked since, but then again Itachi wasn't one to forget a skill.

I was starting to regret agreeing to try his food. At this point, it would be childish to refuse to eat it- especially if it was better than anything I could make. Regardless of how Itachi saw me, I was not going to behave like a child. Unfortunately breakfast wasn't my strong point, so if he came up with something decent then there wasn't much I could do.

Itachi walked over and set a plate down in front on me. I tried to suppress the painful memories of my mother brought back by the food, and started to eat. He had actually done an impressive job. It wasn't a perfect imitation, but unfortunately it was quite good.

He smirked at my disgruntled expression. "Problem?"

"Not at all," I replied coldly, "It's not as good as mom's, but not bad."

As I ate, I realized I could still turn this to my advantage. To be sure, mom's was a high bar to meet, but until a year ago I'd spent a lot of time helping her out in the kitchen. When it came to _dinner_ I was pretty confident in my skills. Itachi tended to avoid eating with us, so he probably didn't know that.

We ate in silence, each of us absorbed in our own thoughts. I wondered if Itachi was thinking about cooking with mom as well. He had a look of slight frustration on his face, as if trying to pinpoint exactly why his cooking didn't quite measure up to the original. He may be skilled, but mom poured her soul into her cooking- something he was probably incapable of.

"Lamenting an imperfect replication?" His eyes flashed.

"Are you saying you could do any better?"

"I'm merely suggesting that although you have the skills, you can't recreate the heart she put into her work."

"Emotions don't play a role in cooking. It's a science."

"How sure are you? I'll show you exactly what real cooking is at dinner tonight." He looked rather taken aback. Yup, he had no idea how much time I'd spent in the kitchen over the years. His victory over breakfast would be short lived. His expression quickly turned to amusement though.

"You're cooking for me?"

"That's hardly the point."

"I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with. Don't worry, my expectations are low."

"And I'm looking forward to wiping that condescending smirk off your face when you are forced to accept my superiority." It was clear he still saw me as the child I used to be, and I was intent on proving him wrong, whatever it took.

After we were through eating we both went into the livingroom. Itachi approached the shogi board sitting at a small table In the far corner. "How about a game?" he asked me. "How long has it been since we last played, years?"

"And whose fault is that?" I muttered. "Go to hell Itachi. I have no intention of playing with you."

"Because you know you'll lose?" I grit my teeth, he knew exactly how to get what he wanted from me. If I backed out now, he won by default.

"I would not lose."

"Then play." He sat down and began to set out the pieces, leaving no room for me to argue.

Itachi taught me to play several years ago, but I'd never beaten him. Now I was much older and much smarter. I realized that this would be a good opportunity to show him that I'd grown, so I followed him to the board.

I'd occasionally played against friends, and I'd only ever lost to Shikamaru. I may not have liked it, but no one won against Shikamaru, and I'd certainly put up a hell of a fight which was more than most of his opponents could say. I was pretty confident in my skills and not particularly worried about losing.

I sat across from him and mirrored his actions. "Fine, I'll play," I conceded.

"But let's bet on it." Raising the stakes would make the game far more interesting, and more satisfying to win. "If I beat you, give me back my straight razor." I wasn't actually looking to get it back, I was just saying it to provoke him. The dark look in his eyes told me I had succeeded, but outwardly he kept his cool.

"You really think I still have that?" he asked. "Here's an idea, when I win you give me back my bed."

I snorted, "You wish." I won that one fair and square.

Trying to make material bets was unlikely to get us anywhere, but if I could win information, it would be more useful to me in the long run anyway. "Your job. If I win you tell me what it is, and why you refuse to talk about it." He had to either accept the bet, or justify rejecting it- something he couldn't do without revealing a lot about his job. I'd gotten curious when I found out he carried around handcuffs, and for whatever reason he clearly wanted to keep it a secret.

"No."

"What's your excuse? You've decided to repair our relationship, but you can't expect anything from me if you won't even tell me what you do all day. If you claim to care about me, at least try to act like a human. You may have forsaken your position as my brother, but you're acting like my jailor." Not that any amount of empathy would win me over, but it was fun to watch him struggle. As I spoke, his face clouded over and he narrowed his eyes.

"Fine," he hissed. "And if I win you will tell me exactly what you were thinking when you nearly killed yourself." I flinched- I did not expect him to go that far. My comments must have really gotten to him.

"Fine," I snapped. It wouldn't matter so long as I won.

As we started playing, the atmosphere around us turned frigid. Neither of us spoke a word, fully focused on the game, and on our own agendas. I was intent on kicking him into the ground, so I wanted to know exactly what I'd said earlier that had bothered him so much. Was it about his keeping secrets? Hopefully he'd tell me after the match.

The game stretched on. Neither of us could keep the lead; our skills were nearly even. Just when I thought I was starting to pull ahead, the game would turn around. With each passing minute the tension around us grew.

"That's game." Itachi said finally, looking up at me with a smug smile. I stared at the board in dismay, trying to figure out how I'd gone wrong.

I had no desire to share my innermost thoughts, but I knew there was no way he'd let me off the hook. Didn't he already blame himself, what more did he want? Was he looking to be exonerated? I wasn't sure I blamed him, but I did hate him for what he'd done. I certainly didn't have a problem telling him that much.

"Alright, start talking." He was still mad from before, and was probably hoping my answer would be more painful for me than for him.

I took a breath and started. "For years, I idolized you, and maybe you didn't have a lot of time for me, but you were always there. And then one day you weren't anymore. I assumed I had done something wrong. Eventually I realized you probably just outgrew me, but since you didn't have the decency to tell me, I spent years thinking it was my fault."

"When our mother got sick, nothing changed! It wasn't only me who suffered, you know? Did you ever think mom might want to spend some time with her son before she fucking died? He looked shocked by that.

"No? Guess not, cause whatever else was going on in your life was apparently more important. Is a fucking job really more important than your mother's death?" The thought of our mom was bringing tears to my eyes, but instead of letting them fall, I channelled my them into my anger.

"And then at the funeral you act like maybe you do have a heart afterall, but when it was over, you went right back to your usual self. Only it was so much worse than before, because for a moment you actually made me believe that things had changed and you would be there for me again."

"And now you have the audacity to sit next to me in the hospital and _say you cared about me the whole time?_ You would have had to be outstandingly dumb not to realize the affect your words and actions had on me, and do you really think I'm stupid enough to buy whatever crap you're trying to sell about caring about me?! I have no idea what possessed you to make fixing me your new hobby, but I am _not_ going to-"

"Sasuke I am your brother and as such it is my responsibility to-"

"Oh fuck off, I haven't had a brother in years. I can't stop you from trying to watch out for me in some misguided attempt to be responsible, but I am _never_ forgiving you, and I am _never_ accepting you."

I stormed into the kitchen. I needed to get away from him and all of the misery he had caused me. Maybe I did blame him for my despair; he'd certainly done enough to warrant it.

It was about time for me to start making dinner, and I was glad for the privacy. I opened the fridge and noticed Itachi had bought some fresh salmon, which was strange because I was pretty sure Itachi had no idea how to cook salmon. I wondered if it was a habit from shopping for our mom's cooking. It was, however, perfect for dinner.

As I started to prepare the ingredients, I began to calm down. Cooking again, it was almost as if my mother was still here, standing beside me and gently directing me as she had nearly every night for the past few years.

I had never cooked anything more complicated than pasta alone, but I was determined to create something that would do justice to everything she taught me. I also wanted to make Itachi eat his words. Somehow, I needed to show him how wrong he'd been these past few years, and how much sorrow he'd caused. I fully intended to turn all of it back on him and make him as miserable as I had been.

About forty minutes later I'd finished, and I was damn proud of my work As I dished it up, on an impulse I decided to add a touch of my own. I plucked a few ripe tomatoes from the basket on the counter, sliced them neatly, and placed them artfully on the side of each plate.

Itachi snorted when I carried the plates out from the kitchen. "Tomatoes huh? I don't remember that being a part of the original recipe." I narrowed my eyes, but decided to let the comment go.

I watched Itachi carefully as he took his first bite. For a long time, he looked at me with an emotion I didn't recognize.

"I never meant to hurt either of you. You know that right?" he said at last. I didn't answer him, but the lingering tension from our fight earlier started to dissolve.

As I began to eat as well, I knew I'd succeeded. This wasn't an imitation of her cooking, it _was_ her cooking. The authenticity of the food invoked bittersweet memories, much stronger than they had been earlier in the day. Memories of her warmth, and from even farther back, memories of the time I'd spent with Itachi.

He finished off the fish leaving only a few slices of tomato, and then pushed his plate over to me.

"She taught you how to cook." he said as he watched me wolf down the last of his tomatoes.

"Yes. I helped her in the kitchen a lot, but this is what we made most often."

"Of the meals she cooked- this was my favorite. Do you remember?" I shook my head, I had no idea.

Itachi's tone was somber, almost wistful. "Sasuke?" He paused for a moment, hesitating. "You did a damn good job."

I smiled, "Of course I did."


	6. Chapter 6

**Sasuke's POV**

It was monday, about a week after I'd been discharged from the hospital, and I was headed back to school. With all that had happened in the past year, I had never gotten around to getting my license, so Itachi was driving me. He probably wouldn't trust me to drive alone even if I could, so I supposed it didn't matter.

I was resting my head against the cool glass of the window, doing my best to ignore my brother. It was a beautiful day- birds were singing in the trees, and the gentle spring sunshine was coaxing the first flowers into full bloom. It was seriously pissing me off.

"Looking forward to being back?" Itachi asked me, breaking the silence. His voice sounded a bit apprehensive, like he was expecting me to start yelling at him again.

"Beats being stuck with you all day." I spoke indifferently, but in reality I was dreading my return. I doubted anyone knew about my stay in the hospital, but my mother's death had been in the news, so _everyone_ would know. No need to tell him about my misgivings though.

Itachi relaxed and smiled slightly, shaking his head. Lately, he didn't seem to be able to make up his mind about how to deal with me. He'd spent the past few days going back and forth between guilt ridden and almost gleefully cruel. It had been years since I'd seen him anything less than perfectly composed, so I was finding his displays of emotion unnerving, but they also provided me with a great deal of amusement. He was apologetic enough to abuse, and mean enough that I didn't have to feel guilty about it. Although I probably wouldn't have felt guilty either way- he did deserve to suffer.

"I'm going to talk to your principal for a bit," Itachi said as we pulled into the parking lot.

I glared at him. "You're going to interfere with my school life now too?" he chuckled, climbing out of the car.

"Don't worry, I just want to make sure they know how to reach me if anything happens, and you neglect to give them the proper contact information."

"How considerate." I drawled. In reality he was probably making sure they kept a close eye on me in his absence.

"I will pick you up after school, so meet me here at exactly three thirty five... Don't make me come track you down," he added sternly.

I scowled and turned my back on him. As I walked towards the front entrance, I heard an excited squeal from nearby. A blonde girl came bouncing up to me. You've got to be kidding me, _already?_

"Sasuke, you're finally back! she cried. "I heard what happened." She threw her arms around me looking distressed. "You can cry on my shoulder if you need to," she added seriously.

"Ino, get off me," I said in a bored tone.

"Yeah, get off him, he doesn't want you." Another girl grabbed Ino by the hair and, to my relief, dragged her away from me. Ino turned her attention to the newcomer.

"Sakura!" she screeched. "Leave us alone, you're spoiling our moment!"

"You weren't having a moment idiot. Sasuke's probably really upset right now, _you_ should leave him alone."

"What, so you can steal him out from under me? I don't think so."

"II can't steal him, he's not _yours._ He doesn't even like you!" Sakura yelled back. I slipped away while they kept each other occupied.

When I stepped inside the school building, an equally annoying blonde came up to me looking worried. "Sasuke, how are you?" Naruto asked. I glared at him. "Right sorry, stupid question. Just remember I'm here if you ever need to talk, alright?" I nodded curtly, glad that for once the blonde seemed to be keeping himself under control, but still in no mood to 'talk.' He smiled hesitantly and followed me down the hallway.

Our first class was advanced chemistry. How Naruto was even _in_ advanced chemistry I have no idea. He spent the entire period scrutinizing me from the next seat. I tried to get him to stop by glaring back at him, but it seemed he was either immune, or too stupid to notice.

"Naruto, what _is_ it?" I demanded when the bell finally rung.

"Huh?" He looked at me blankly, and I grit my teeth in annoyance.

"In case you hadn't noticed, you've been staring at me for an entire hour."

"I'm worried about you."

"That's great Naruto, really, but I'm tired enough of my brother constantly watching me, I don't need it from you too."

"Itachi?" he asked, his face darkening instantly.

I sighed. "Yeah, apparently he's had some sort of epiphany and now he won't let me out of his sight. He wants to be a part of my life again, not that it's any of your business," I warned. I wished he'd just leave me alone but somehow I knew I wouldn't be so lucky.

"And you're letting him? You remember what he did to you, right?" he pressed on, ignoring my tone.

"Stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong," I snapped. It's not like Itachi was giving me a _choice_ anyway.

"Sasuke, Itachi's made it pretty clear that he's only interested in himself. You can't let him drag you down any further."

"Naruto that's enough!" I got to my feet and stared at him coldly, willing him to shut up.

"You'll only get hurt again if you let him back into your life," he said firmly, ignoring my growing anger. "I know you're smarter than that."

My fist flew forward, knocking him out of his chair. "Don't fucking talk about Itachi!" I snarled.

He looked up at me in confusion that quickly turned to anger. "What the Hell?!" he yelled, rolling back onto to his feet and curling his hands into fists. I noticed with satisfaction that a thin trail of blood was trickling from his nose.

He charged towards me, and I spun out of the way. His arm swooshed past my ear, missing by a hair's breath. I punched him again, and he doubled over with a hiss of pain. Before he could move, I seized his head and drove it down onto my knee with a dull thud.

By this time the rest of the students were on their feet with expressions ranging from excitement to fear. Naruto and I fought often but it had been a long time since we actually came to blows. Hinata was the first to react.

"Sasuke, s-stop it," she stuttered, trying to get in my way. I shoved her aside roughly and she fell into a desk. I think someone caught her before she hit the floor, but my attention was already back on Naruto.

He was still dazed from my last blow. I moved to hit him again, but strong arms wrap around me and held me back. I struggled, trying to see who had grabbed me.

"Sasuke get ahold of yourself." It was Kakashi, the teacher for our next class. I threw my weight to the side, trying to dislodge him, but it had little effect against his tight hold.

I grabbed a pencil off the table next to me and stabbed backwards blindly into his face. He jolted, and something wet dripped onto my hand, but he didn't let go. He moved his hand and pressed into my neck, and the room began to sway. I kept struggling, but my limbs grew heavy and I moment later I lost consciousness.

* * *

 **Itachi's POV**

I watched Sasuke slip away from the arguing girls in amusement, then turned towards the main building. I'd gone to school here as well, so I knew where I was going. A few minutes later, I stepped through Tsunade's open door.

"Itachi." She greeted when she saw me. "Lovely to see you again, what brings you here?"

"I just dropped off Sasuke," I said, taking a seat in front of her heavy wooden desk.

"How is he?" Her face filled with worry.

"He's had a rough time, and had to spend a few days in the hospital, but I'm looking after him now."

"Are you two finally getting along?" I sunk backwards into the chair, rubbing my forehead.

"Tsunade- he hates me. I don't think there's anything I can do about it either."

"Mikoto would never forgive you if you gave up on him," She said reproachfully

"You're right," I sighed. "'I've let her down far too much in the past."

Her face softened. "Mikoto knew what you were dealing with. She didn't force you into interacting with him because she knew you felt like you'd corrupt him."

"What are you talking about?" I said sharply, not liking where this was headed. She pursed her lips.

"I saw the men who came here to recruit you, and I recognized them from the hospital. I may not know exactly what you do, but the wounds you lot came in with didn't come from car accidents or concrete stairs, or whatever other excuses you thought up. You were all too well dressed to be in a gang, and last I checked the Mafia doesn't recruit from high schools. Mikoto spent a lot of time volunteering in the hospital, so she noticed as well." My mouth fell open in disbelief.

"She knew?" She'd never said anything, and I had always assumed she would be wildly against it if she ever found out. Not only that but Tsunade knew as well?

"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone else." I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Anyway, did you want something?" she said, changing the subject.

"Oh, right. Our dad is traveling, so if anything happens I wanted to make sure you have my contact information."

She slid me a pad of paper and I scribbled down my number.

"Thanks, let's hope I don't have to use it." I nodded and turned to leave. "Good luck with Sasuke," she added as I walked out. I'll certainly need it, I thought.

* * *

After a short drive away from the school, I found myself pulling into the cemetery where my mother was buried. I hadn't planned on coming here, at least not until Sasuke could handle it, but I needed to think and this felt like the right place to do it.

I opened the car door and stepped out into the warm sunshine. I smiled slightly as I approached her grave. A multitude of flowers lay at the foot, a clear show of how much she'd been loved. It was hard to believe she'd given birth to someone as heartless as I was.

Sure, I started out avoiding Sasuke in order to protect him from my way of life, but in the end that turned out to be the worst possible mistake. Very nearly a fatal one.

I shivered as I recalled the image. My beautiful brother, lying on the cold tiles with his life spilling out from open arteries. In my line of work I'd seen plenty of death- _caused_ plenty of death, but nothing could have prepared me for that. Especially since I hadn't even realized something was wrong.

I winced as I recalled my ignorance. Whatever led him to try and take his own life didn't appear overnight. How long had I been oblivious to his suffering? I'd completely failed in my duty as a brother.

Tsunade had been right though: our mom would never have forgiven me for giving up on him. It doesn't matter whether _he_ wants me around or not. He needed me, so I'd be there for him. If all I could offer him now is a distraction, than I'd take whatever he threw at me. He'd never be alone again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Itachi's POV**

I was pulling up at home when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I slipped it out and glanced at the number. The school? I hit answer.

"Hello?"

"Itachi." It was Tsunade. I felt a bit of fear creep up my spine. Had something happened to Sasuke? I'd only been away from him for what, an hour?

"What is it? Is Sasuke alright?" I couldn't conceal the worry in my voice.

"Maybe a few bruises, but he's fine. He started it actually."

"He got into a fight?" I asked, although from what I was learning about his personality, it didn't exactly surprise me.

"He did. From what I gather, he attacked Naruto. They've fought before, but this was in a classroom, and he involved another student. Luckily a teacher stopped him before he did too much damage."

"At least he's alright." I was surprised a high school teacher managed to stop him. I knew he had taken martial arts up until recently, and he was really good. I'd helped him practice when he was little, and I'm sure he'd only gotten better.

"Itachi! Take this seriously."

"Don't worry, I am." I frowned, wondering how on earth I was going to deal with this.

"I'm suspending him. I need you to come pick him up," she continued.

Great, that's just what I need. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes." I pressed end and stuffed my phone back into my pocket, then restarted the engine.

* * *

A blonde boy was slumped on a bench outside Tsunade's office, staring off into space and holding an icepack to his chin. When he noticed me he scowled.

"Itachi," he called in an accusatory tone. "Leave Sasuke alone, you've done enough damage already."

"What I do is none of your business, Naruto was it?"

He looked indignant. "I'm his best friend, it is _so_ my business!"

" _I_ am his brother." I replied in a superior tone meant to intimidate.

He snorted, unfazed. "Some brother you've been."

"What sort of best friend gets punched in the face?" I retorted.

He looked incredulous. "Have you met Sasuke?" I suppose he had a point. "Besides, I'm the one who's always been there for him," he added.

"Naruto, I am deeply grateful for everything you've done for my brother in the past, however I _will_ take it from here."

"You'd better not hurt him again, or else!" he said in a voice filled with such passion I couldn't help but laugh.

"Was that a threat?" I chuckled, and then took on a serious expression. This boy did seem to genuinely care about Sasuke so I should be nice- even if he was irritating. "You don't need to worry. I screwed up in the past, but I fully intend to make up for it. Sasuke needs support right now, and I am in the best position to provide it."

He continued to look at me with skepticism, but seemed to accept my answer.

I turned back to the office, and jumped back as the door nearly hit my face. A man stepped out, and I immediately recognized the head of spiky white hair. He was holding some paper towels to the side of his face, apparently in a half assed attempt to stop some bleeding.

"Kakashi," I said, pleasantly surprised.

"Itachi. It's been a while." He raised the hand not covering his face and assumed his usual cheerful smile.

"Last I heard you quit after losing an eye… Are you working here now?" This was the _last_ place I would have expected to find him.

He rubbed the back of his head. "Tsunade offered me the job, so I thought hey, why not give it a try?"

I smiled. More than likely, he'd been too lazy to find another job after that. I glanced at the towels covering his face again. "Anyway, what on earth happened to you?" I'd seen Kakashi's skills first hand, and they were top of the line.

"Eh, well… your brother happened."

"Sasuke did that to you? _How?_ " I asked.

"What can I say? He blindsided me- quite literally." He chuckled gesturing to his left eye. "I guess I should have expected it seeing as he's your brother."

I snorted. "So that explains how a teacher was able to to restrain him."

Kakashi shrugged. "You have a lot of work on your hands when it comes to that kid."

I nodded, but to me Sasuke didn't seem like a kid anymore. He had been innocent and cheerful as a kid- two words that in no way described him now.

I groaned as I realized how hard this was going to be. He'd been giving me enough trouble already, and it was starting to get frustrating.

"Speaking of which, there's somewhere I have to be." I gestured to the door.

"Catch you later!" Kakashi said, holding up a hand in farewell. I turned back to the door as he walked away. I tried to come up with some sort of plan, but nothing came to mind. I took a moment to compose my features, and knocked.

 **Sasuke's POV**

I opened my eyes and saw Tsunade standing over me with her arms crossed, tapping her foot. I was lying in her office with my back on a hard wooden bench. As I sat up, I saw Kakashi behind her, standing against the far wall and covering the part of his face where I'd stabbed him. I felt a little bit of guilt. My problem had been with Naruto, not him. Oh well, he was the one who chose to get in the middle of it.

Kakashi, noticing I was awake started towards the door. "It looks like Sasuke's calmed down, so if you don't mind I have a class… I'm rather late."

Tsunade sighed and gestured for him to leave. When the door clicked shut she turned back to me.

"Sasuke! _What_ were you thinking?"

I folded my arms and leaned back, frowning in much the same way she was and kept my mouth shut.

"Can't you at least try to control yourself? For God's sake you nearly took Kakashi's eye out!"

"Somebody else already did that." I pointed out.

"Well what would he have done if you'd hit the other one?"

I didn't answer.

She stomped back to her desk and sat down, jerking open a drawer. She pulled out a bottle of sake and a cup. "Sasuke, school is not a _battlefield_ where we slaughter our enemies." She said as she poured herself a drink and downed it in one go.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever."

Tsunade pursed her lips and continued. "This time you dragged _Hinata_ into it. If if you had hurt her…" She trailed off, shaking her head. She downed another cup and then set it aside, turning her attention fully to me. "Alright, I know you've been through alot recently. You probably just need some more time." She chewed on her thumb as she thought.

"There is only about a month until the end of the term, so I'm suspending you for the remainder of the year. Get yourself together, and I'll see you in the fall." She stopped talking to glare at me for a moment. "Next time I _will_ to expel you," she warned. She'd said the same thing the last time I'd ended up in here with Naruto.

I thought it over. I suppose it was a reasonable punishment, and I was quite glad to be rid of school for the time being. At home, I had Itachi to terrorize. School was quite boring in comparison.

"Itachi will be here to pick you up any moment." She added.

"Oh joy, just who I wanted to see." I said sarcastically, although I did look forward to seeing how he would react to my antics.

At that moment, a knock sounded on the door. Itachi came in with a blank expression probably meant to conceal his frustration. He nodded to Tsunade, then turned on me.

"Sasuke you do realize I have a job," he said, maintaining an impressively calm voice.

I raised my eyebrows and deadpanned, "that sounds like a _you_ problem."

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, then turned to Tsunade. A hint of a smile graced his lips as he eyed the sake, but it was thin and fleeting.

I had to wait while Tsunade ran through the details of my punishment again with Itachi. I glared at Itachi's back. I didn't like waiting.

When they were finally done talking I stood up and strode to the door. "Let's get going. There's nothing like spending quality time with someone you hate."

Itachi winced. He exchanged a look with Tsunade filled with meaning that I didn't particularly care about. I yanked open the door, and Itachi shut it gently behind us.

On the way home I was fidgety, restless. If Itachi noticed, he didn't say anything, but when we pulled up, he turned to face me. "You need a change of pace," he said. I gave him a weird look.

We climbed out of the car, and instead of going into the house, he beckoned for me to follow him into the yard. I did, and he took me out to the middle of the grass, a safe distance from the little purple flowers mom had loved.

Itachi gave me a calculating once over, and then in an instant I felt his fist collide with my body. Not hard enough to hurt me, just enough to knock me a bit off balance. And make me mad.

"Geez Itachi, what the fuck is your problem?" I cursed, as I steadied myself.

"Hmm, I was expecting more from you," he said, with a look of pitying disappointment. "I guess you really have lost your touch."

"Forgive me for not expecting you to punch me," I growled, dropping into a defensive stance. I clenched my teeth in an effort to keep myself from rushing at him. I'd known my brother was skilled but that punch reminded me of just _how_ skilled. I couldn't have dodged it even if I'd known it was coming.

Itachi waited for me to make the next move, giving me the option of backing out. Well, fuck that. There was no way I could beat him, but I would _not_ run away. I would do the best I could, and show him my skills- even if they were a bit rusty. I breathed slowly, calling upon what little patience I possessed to focus and figure out a strategy.

Pretty soon he took a step back, "That's it then? I guess you know a hopeless cause when you see one."

I growled and moved forward suddenly, unable to wait any longer. I swung my fist, and he dodged easily. I kept my momentum, next bringing my knee up and into his ribs. He let out a short breath. It had hardly phased him, but at least I landed a hit. I smiled slightly.

Itachi was pulling his punches a bit. Normally it would have bothered me, but I would take any advantage I could get.

I let his next hit land. Pain ran through my side, but again, his blow wasn't too hard. I used the moment to try and catch him off guard. It didn't work. He caught my fist and sent me stumbling backwards.

He moved towards me again, this time knocking me over. I groaned as my head hit the ground, and I suddenly understood why we were fighting on grass. Itachi stepped back, giving me a chance to recover.

I rolled to my feet and came at him with a kick. He caught my foot- which was exactly what I was expecting. I twisted around, knocking his feet out from under him, and with another well timed punch, he landed on the ground. I smirked. Looks like he had been underestimating me.

He covered his mouth in an attempt to hide a smile. I glared at him. "What?" I demanded.

"You really know what you're doing."

I snorted. "Of course, dumbass."

We continued to spar for the rest of the morning. I relaxed, and for once let myself really enjoy the moment.

* * *

 **A/N: Please leave a review if you like what you're reading, or if you have feedback to give. Thanks!**


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